Twist and shout, coz I’m gonna shake things up a bit. Or at least talk about things you should be shaking on a regular basis, and for your own good, doggone it. Now, pay attention:
I’m taking James Bond‘s word for it that a martini is best when “shaken, not stirred” because the one time – ONE TIME – that someone made me try a martini, I thought they must have mistakenly used lighter fluid. They showed me the bottles. One was dry vermouth, which I’d already used in cooking. The other — gin — was the one I’d confused with lighter fluid. Downright vile.
I do concur with Jim (can I call him Jim? I feel we’ve…….bonded. HA!) on this: a beverage that is shaken with ice is nicer and colder and more refreshing than one that isn’t, but I’ll let him keep the gin and just have a tall unsweetened iced tea on the rocks.
When you take them out of the washer, shake out your sheets before you put them into the dryer. In fact, do the same with your shirts and pants and pretty much everything that you don’t want to be wrinkled. Years ago, I read a tip that said to FOLD YOUR SHEETS before putting them into the dryer to keep them from being wrinkled. I laughed it off, but then thought about it the next time I was moving a load of laundry from washer to dryer, and EVERYTHING was all twisted. Suddenly, this strange idea made sense, because in order to fold the sheets, you’d have to shake them out and untwist them, which helps to keep the wet, twisted fabric from becoming dried, twisted fabric, which of course translates to wrinkles once it’s untwisted. It also seems to let everything dry just a little better. So, shake your laundry out between machines and save yourself some ironing. If you, unlike me, are prone to ironing things.
You wouldn’t laugh if you’d been the one who’d felt teensy little creepy crawly legs on her forehead while in the shower. Spiders like to hide, and they can go anywhere. Pants. Jackets. Blankets. Towels. Piles of laundry. Anywhere. That place you’re thinking of they couldn’t possibly get into? They’ve been there for ages. They have parties there.
I used to be somewhat laissez-faire when it came to spiders, since I figured they’d eat other creepy-crawlies that were even less desirable. I would only kill arachnids that were large enough to startle me. But then I found myself with several very painful spider bites on my right arm one day, which could only have happened from putting on a jacket with a spider in the sleeve. Since then, I terminate with extreme prejudice and a measure of maniacal glee. And I shake out EVERYTHING. I’m not paranoid. Not one bit. I’m punctilious, at least about a particular pest.
Or booties or any closed-toe shoes that haven’t been worn in a while. Turn them upside down and give ’em a good shaking, maybe pound a couple of times on the sole, in order to evict anything that’s taken up residence while your feet were seeing other footwear. I started doing this after that time I put on a pair of boots for the first time in the season, only to find a mouse had moved in.
So shake your boots out, and if you want to shake your booty while shaking out your boots, it’s your own business as long as you don’t do it where you’ll frighten Old Man Potter next door. You know he’s got a bad heart.
So, what’s shakin’ with you, toots?